Procedures

Ok. There is nothing as heart stopping as when your adoption agency calls and says "Russia has changed it's procedures". For a few short moments I was screaming on the inside. It was no big deal actually. Thought I was going to have to sign a few new documents, but she called back and said "Great news, just talked to Russia and you don't have to submit those documents". Whew. The "Great News" to me is that someone in Russia is looking at my files!! Woot Woot. I know I'm registered in several different regions, but she did mention Krasnodar. So guess what I'll be googling tonight!!!

I know it's too early for getting THE phone call, but anytime the caller ID says my adoption agency is calling, the world stops around me.

Frances

I got the fabric swatches in today for the baby bedding below. It's really pretty. I love the paisley matched with the pink stripe and lavender dotted sheets. I really love it. It's expensive though and the princess will outgrow it before long, so I have to decide if I want to spend alot of money on baby bedding that will have to be changed to little girl decor in a few years....if that long. So, I'm going to heed my mother's advice and go to the Play Pen and Babies R Us and look at their bedding....which is 10 times cheaper. But since I've waited 40 years to have a baby, I might just splurge now and learn to conserve later. One way or the other, I will have a nursery set up before Christmas.

I've also been picking out potential names for my little one. I have a few in mind, but want to meet her first to make a final decision. It's important to remember that she will already have a name and I may want to keep it or use it as a middle name. If it's Alexandria or Mika or Dasha, I might keep it. If it's Svetlana or Olga or Vera, I might use it as a middle name or I might not use it at all.....depends. Little Mika or Svetlana will grow up one day and might be ticked off at her mama for changing her name. It's alot to consider.

I have a story I want to post before I actually get the referral with baby girl and name attached. As I've told you I always knew I would be a mother and always knew I would adopt. Many years ago, I had a dream. I still recall it to this day. I dreamt I had a little baby girl named Frances. Now, I'm not especially fond of that name and I know noone named Frances. I have no idea where that name came from, but the dream was very specific. If I get a referral of a little girl named Frances, I'm going to flippin freak out. Not a very Russian name, so highly unlikely, but still......I've been waiting for my Frances for a long time.

Baby Bedding

Can I tell you how many hours I've spent on the internet looking at baby bedding....imagine picking a kindergarten!! Ahhh.

I'm just not the best decorator, so I think that' s why I can't make a decision. However, this is the one I'm leaning towards. My mom, of course, hates it. Ha. She's VERY fru fru. She doesn't like the paisley. I just don't want the room looking like Pepto Bismol exploded in it....or too much lace and flowers and frilly frilly. I like that, but in moderation. Anyway, I thought it was cute....expensive....but cute. We shall see. I'm headed to NYC in November. Maybe there's something at Sak's . Hmmmmm.

At any rate, I'm ready to set up the nursery. I don't want to be trying to order furniture and setting things up when the news comes for me to head to Russia. I'm still waiting by the way. No news AT ALL. There was a frenzy of paperwork and things to do for a year, then nothing to do but wait. I think I've read every baby book known to man. Well, this is becoming aimless chatter.......I'll post when there is any news.

It's Time....for a nursery

Still waiting......nothing to report. Although I stated earlier that the time is flying by, it doesn't seem to be doing so now. Days, hours, minutes are going by so slow right now. I want to call my agency and see if they can speed it up some....but I know that's not going to happen. I have to be patient.

So I know anything could happen. Russian/Georgian war, economy, change of leadership in the U.S. It's possible the adoption could fail, but I'm not going to live in that fear anymore.

I have not wanted to set up the babies room. What if something goes wrong. What if I paint the walls pink and there's no baby to enjoy it. Am I even allowed? I mean, I'm not gestating a baby. Am I truly a mother-to-be? It doesn't always feel like it. It's so unbelievable that this dream is about to come true. Am I worthy? Will I be a good mother? Am I doing this for her or for me? or for both of us? I have so much love for this child I've never met. This child that exists at this moment...somewhere. Is the connection by design or is it random?

It's more than the "nursery room", it's my first trimester. It's that stamp of validity that there is a baby coming home soon. Someone I am dedicating my life to.

Soon.....

Half Way

Well, if all my calculations are correct and everything is smooth sailing, I am half way through the waiting process. Time is really going by fast. Most people say this step of the process is painfully slow. I guess because I stay so busy at work and at the theatre, the time is going by quickly for me. I'm still hoping January will be the magic month I receive my referral.

I spoke with my agency yesterday regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia. They said it's really business as usual but are, of course, keeping an eye on the situation. The regions I am registered in are not near Georgia. The news seems to have slowed down about the conflict since the ceasefire. The only thing I'm listening for is if Russia stops issuing Visas into the country. That would cause a delay, if not worse, but I don't see that happening unless the U.S. puts troops in Georgia. Russia is a sleeping giant folks, I doubt the U.S. wants to wake it. But, that is no comfort to the Georgian people, who thought the U.S. would come to it's aid. Ah....it's a political matter that I have no control over, so I must watch and pray.

I feel a peace, an inner calm if you will, about my adoption process. I feel it is destined, but unfortunately I can't read my destiny in a crystal ball, so it's only what I feel. I just have to walk forward and keep believing.

I must admit though, with the death of the baby in Virginia and the Russia/Georgia conflict, I got a big dose of reality. Before, I was picking our furniture, baby names, shopping at Babies R Us, dreaming of my new life, etc, etc. Since that dose of reality, that all stopped cold. I think you have to guard yourself against heartache and be prepared for anything.

But now, I'm starting to think on those things again.

Mommy Practice

My little friend S.T., aka Chip

Multi-tasking Mom

My life has been totally crazy busy lately. But what else is new really. It is the way I have lived for years. Rushing from here to there, meeting this obligation and that deadline. I was so frustrated the other day thinking how in the world am I going to do all this AND raise a baby!! What do I give up? Work? Theatre? Baby? I can't imagine my life without all of those things. I told a friend, half jokingly, "I guess I'll just strap her on my back and go." What I've heard from most moms, including my own, is that is exactly what you do. You take your baby with you wherever you go. Of course I know I can't do that all the time and her needs are going to come first, but I guess multi-tasking moms have been around for a long time and in every part of the world, I guess I'm about to join ranks.