Still waiting......nothing to report. Although I stated earlier that the time is flying by, it doesn't seem to be doing so now. Days, hours, minutes are going by so slow right now. I want to call my agency and see if they can speed it up some....but I know that's not going to happen. I have to be patient.
So I know anything could happen. Russian/Georgian war, economy, change of leadership in the U.S. It's possible the adoption could fail, but I'm not going to live in that fear anymore.
I have not wanted to set up the babies room. What if something goes wrong. What if I paint the walls pink and there's no baby to enjoy it. Am I even allowed? I mean, I'm not gestating a baby. Am I truly a mother-to-be? It doesn't always feel like it. It's so unbelievable that this dream is about to come true. Am I worthy? Will I be a good mother? Am I doing this for her or for me? or for both of us? I have so much love for this child I've never met. This child that exists at this moment...somewhere. Is the connection by design or is it random?
It's more than the "nursery room", it's my first trimester. It's that stamp of validity that there is a baby coming home soon. Someone I am dedicating my life to.
Soon.....
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