Don't Be Selfish

I have some very sad news to share. A few months ago, a couple from Virginia brought home their son from Russia. The baby's name was Chase. He had been home three months and one morning his new dad was going to drop him off at day care on his way to work. Tragically, the dad "forgot" to drop Chase off and left him in his car all day long and Chase died of heat stroke. Upon realizing this.....at 5:00pm in the afternoon, the new dad fainted and had a heart attack and has been in a mental hospital trying to.......cope. I know it was a tragic, tragic accident and I have empathy for the dad, but poor Chase. This baby was abandoned by his biological mom and dad, raised in an orphanage for nearly 2 years and brought to America only to be abandoned in the back of a Yukon by his new dad. The sorrow and pain this little baby went through in his short 21 months is heartbreaking and makes me very sad. I saw a picture of him on the internet and I will never forget his beautiful face. I know he is with God now and is in no more pain, but the world betrayed Chase and I'm so sorry for him. So sorry.

Chase was placed in his new home by the same adoption agency I am using. I have been trying so hard not to be selfish in my desire by the repercussions of this tragedy. You see, Russia must react to the death of this baby.....and I don't blame them. All of us trying to adopt have been worried and unsure of what our future holds. Will Russia close it's doors to adoption? Will my agency be banned from operating in Russia? Will I be able to adopt at all? I'm trying not to think of my own desires and think of Chase and the people who adopted him and all the children in orphanages around the world......and not about me.

I learned very early into the adoption process that adoption is about the child, not about the parents.....me. Yes, I desire, but it's not about my desire. It's about finding the best place for the child. What is best for the child, not what is best for me. So, although it has been in God's hands from the beginning, I turned my worries over to him last night. If I am the best place for a baby, we will find each other.

The Russian Ministry of Education was supposed to have a ruling last week, but we have no word yet. Please pray that their decision will be in the best interest of the children.

Peace & Love,
Lavonne

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

The naming of kids is a difficult matter!......forgive me Mr. Eliot

Yes, I have been mulling over baby names, but I know it's too early and I didn't realize what a completely personal matter it is. I actually had a name I really liked, but I didn't want to tell anyone yet, kindof my little secret. I did, however, tell a close friend and it was met with a "hmmm". I was crushed. Crushed! haha. Was that a bad name? Would my baby be mad at me? It was a little hippie, but not weird. Certainly not Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii!!! Check this out......

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.

Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.

Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said. The new name was not made public to protect the girl's privacy.

"The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name," he wrote. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily."

The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her "K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.

Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said. New Zealand law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person, among other conditions, said Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Clarke said officials usually talked to parents who proposed unusual names to convince them about the potential for embarrassment.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080724/ap_on_re_au_an/new_zealand_bizarre_names

Say...Yellow Blue Tibia

You've just said "I Love You" in Russian.....kindof

Yah lyoo-blyoo tee-byah

Those are the first words I'm going to say to my little one when I meet her. Yes, Lavonne is on an adoption journey to Russia. I've decided to blog my journey (although I'm not a great writer). I might have to get M.L. to edit my dribble. Anyway.....here goes my first post....and I have alot to catch you up on.

So, the when why and how......

I always knew I would adopt. Always. Even as a little girl, I knew. Of course, I thought I'd be married with a house full of younguns first. I haven't been blessed with a husband or a house full, but I know I am meant to be "mom". I just had to follow the path before me and figure out what I was supposed to do. Actually, with the theatre kids, I feel like I've raised a few already. But there has always been that one true bond missing. So, since God didn't bless me with a brood, I think he wants me to find it in a different way.

I officially started an adoption journey in 2004. My church announced a local adoption agency would be holding a seminar at my church. I went. I was in. This was exactly what I wanted to do. I met with them later, met with my minister, paid an application fee and began the journey. Telling my mom was the biggest hurdle. Her first reaction when I told her I was adopting was "for how long". I still laugh at that. How long? Forever. I think mom is just weirded out by this non-traditional family she's about to have, being the Southern Belle she is.

Anyway, I started the process, told a few friends.......then realized my finances weren't in order to start that journey. I had just opened a new business and was having trouble taking care of my cat. I soon realized I wasn't ready to care for a baby.

So, I've spent the past 4 years getting my life and my finances in order. I'm ready.

In June of 2007, I started the adotion process again......only to realize the "Christian" agency that came to my church, that I wanted to work with, didn't want to work with me. Because I'm SINGLE. Well, they didn't come right out and say it, but I was certainly shown the door. I actually left feeling like that was it. It wasn't going to happen. As I sat in my car with the tears starting to come, I slapped myself around asked God for help and decided it WAS going to happen. God told me so. So I went home and hit the internet.

A month later, I had an agency that didn't mind I was single....you see there are some 10 million orphans in this world. Wouldn't one be better off with just me than alone? Yep. I agree too. So, although I know it will be hard, I'm just going to have to find some father-figures. Is George Michael taken?

My adoption process re-began in June 2007. Since then....paperwork, lots and lots of paper work. A home study (oh, and I had to buy a house). Check. Complete a Dossier with pages and pages of documents that have to be notarized, then the notarized documents have to be apostilled by the Secretary of State. Fingerprinting for background checks - had to go to Rankin County Jail Central Booking to be buzzed in with all the criminals in their stripped suits.....and here's me in my capris, hot rollered hair, makeup and Coach bag over my shoulder traipsing through central booking. Remind me never to be arrested!! Thank goodness the only blot on my record is speeding tickets. God sure has been looking out for me!! And all that was only the beginning of the paper trail. It took me 8 months to complete my home study and dossier. But in May of 2008, I submitted my completed dossier and visited with Homeland Security. Now I sit and wait.

What am I waiting for: a referral of a baby girl between 9 and 24 months. One I can say Yellow Blue Tibia to over and over again. It takes 8-12 months to get a referral, so possibly around January 2009.....then off to Russia I will go.

Peace,
Lavonne