Half Way

Well, if all my calculations are correct and everything is smooth sailing, I am half way through the waiting process. Time is really going by fast. Most people say this step of the process is painfully slow. I guess because I stay so busy at work and at the theatre, the time is going by quickly for me. I'm still hoping January will be the magic month I receive my referral.

I spoke with my agency yesterday regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia. They said it's really business as usual but are, of course, keeping an eye on the situation. The regions I am registered in are not near Georgia. The news seems to have slowed down about the conflict since the ceasefire. The only thing I'm listening for is if Russia stops issuing Visas into the country. That would cause a delay, if not worse, but I don't see that happening unless the U.S. puts troops in Georgia. Russia is a sleeping giant folks, I doubt the U.S. wants to wake it. But, that is no comfort to the Georgian people, who thought the U.S. would come to it's aid. Ah....it's a political matter that I have no control over, so I must watch and pray.

I feel a peace, an inner calm if you will, about my adoption process. I feel it is destined, but unfortunately I can't read my destiny in a crystal ball, so it's only what I feel. I just have to walk forward and keep believing.

I must admit though, with the death of the baby in Virginia and the Russia/Georgia conflict, I got a big dose of reality. Before, I was picking our furniture, baby names, shopping at Babies R Us, dreaming of my new life, etc, etc. Since that dose of reality, that all stopped cold. I think you have to guard yourself against heartache and be prepared for anything.

But now, I'm starting to think on those things again.

Mommy Practice

My little friend S.T., aka Chip

Multi-tasking Mom

My life has been totally crazy busy lately. But what else is new really. It is the way I have lived for years. Rushing from here to there, meeting this obligation and that deadline. I was so frustrated the other day thinking how in the world am I going to do all this AND raise a baby!! What do I give up? Work? Theatre? Baby? I can't imagine my life without all of those things. I told a friend, half jokingly, "I guess I'll just strap her on my back and go." What I've heard from most moms, including my own, is that is exactly what you do. You take your baby with you wherever you go. Of course I know I can't do that all the time and her needs are going to come first, but I guess multi-tasking moms have been around for a long time and in every part of the world, I guess I'm about to join ranks.

Warfare

Russia has invaded the country of Georgia. Both countries are claiming the other started it.
My theory is the warfare was brought about to destabilize Georgia so it won't be able to join NATO.
There is so much more to it than that, but that's it in a nutshell. Everyone trying to adopt from Russia is on pins and needles again. This is not good. If the US backs Georgia, who is an ally, it will be devastating to us. Do we really want a Cold War, Part II? Please pray for a ceasefire and that this conflict can be resolved peacefully. Also, please pray for the thousands of civilians dead in Georgia.
WAR - What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

No Preference

From now until I receive my referral (a photo and medical history on a child), there is not much to report on......except that I'm waiting. So, I thought I'd share some things that happened during my home study and dossier preparations.

Unless you've been there, you really have no idea the amount of paperwork that goes into an adoption. Now, I am Miss Organized and it still took me forever. If it was as easy as typing a document on your computer or standing at the copy machine, I would have been done in no time. However, it's more like.....
1) Fill out Form A
2) Fax to your agency to make sure it looks good
3) Agency says "fix this"
4) Ok, fixed....how does it look now?
5) Um....remove that bold type at the top
6) Done....refax....how's it look now?
7) Good...have it notarized
8) Drive across town to notary
9) Fax notarized document to agency. How's it look?
10) Well, the date at the top is the 15th, the date the notary signed is the 16th....redo it.
11) Grrr....ok, retype the form
12) Drive across town to notary again
13) Refax to agency.....YAY, it looks good. Now, we will need that in triplicate!!!
14) Make two more copies
15) Drive across town to notary
16) Yay...have it in triplicate!!! Awesome
17) Call the Secretay of State and tell them you need these 3 documents apostilled by the Secretary of State
18) Next day, go to Secretay of State office and pick up Apostille Pages. Yay, document #1 in triplicate is completed
19) Repeat step 1 - 18 for the other 765,822 documents
20) Take gifts to notary
21) Find a couple of other notaries b/c you're embarassed to ask for so many!!

See what I mean!!!! Whew!!

Now, let me give you insight to my filling out Form # 625, 626 and 627
They are questionnaires. They ask about the same thing on each form, but what Russia wants, Russia get. Since I'm really smart and know the above process of not putting any fancy typing or bold print, making sure notary dates and document dates are the same and I gotta get 'em in triplicate. I got this under control!!!!!

Only, while filling out the questionnaires, I start feeling like I'm catalog ordering a child. It's awful, but I guess it has to be done. There are two questions that ask for the desired hair color and eye color of the child you'd like to adopt. I'm a blonde, blue-eyed gal, so that's what I put. Makes sense doesn't it? I mean...THEY asked! So I fill those forms out, get them notarized in triplicate and send them off to be apostilled. Got it all....

Dear Agency, look how smart I am. I didn't need your help on this one!!!!!

Well, my case worker calls me the next day and says....."um, Lavonne....ya know. Would you take GREEN eyes? Cause, you know, asking for a blue-eyed blonde might cause delays." Uhh... OF COURSE I'd take green eyes. She says redo the forms. ArGGGGHHHHHH.

She says she'll make a note that I'd prefer a "fair" child and not a "gypsy"child..... WAIT A MINUTE!!! I'd Prefer??? I say a resounding "No..... I'll just put down No Preference"...... cause I'm secretly thinking "gypsy child" sounds fun and exotic.....although I know it's not exotic and fun to BE a gypsy child.....unless your a theatre gypsy child, which I am. But I don't think that's what they are talking about. So, I'm not choosing blue, green, brown, purple, red and yellow, black and white. I just choose to be mommy!!!!!

Peace!!!!

Agency Cleared

I am happy to report that my adoption agency has been cleared of any liability regarding the death of the Russian-born adopted toddler from Virginia. That means I'm back to waiting. Still hoping for a referral in January.

R.I.P. Chase (Dimitry "Dima" Yakolev) Harrison
Never to be Forgotten

Photos of Dima from Fairfax Times and Purcelville News

Don't Be Selfish

I have some very sad news to share. A few months ago, a couple from Virginia brought home their son from Russia. The baby's name was Chase. He had been home three months and one morning his new dad was going to drop him off at day care on his way to work. Tragically, the dad "forgot" to drop Chase off and left him in his car all day long and Chase died of heat stroke. Upon realizing this.....at 5:00pm in the afternoon, the new dad fainted and had a heart attack and has been in a mental hospital trying to.......cope. I know it was a tragic, tragic accident and I have empathy for the dad, but poor Chase. This baby was abandoned by his biological mom and dad, raised in an orphanage for nearly 2 years and brought to America only to be abandoned in the back of a Yukon by his new dad. The sorrow and pain this little baby went through in his short 21 months is heartbreaking and makes me very sad. I saw a picture of him on the internet and I will never forget his beautiful face. I know he is with God now and is in no more pain, but the world betrayed Chase and I'm so sorry for him. So sorry.

Chase was placed in his new home by the same adoption agency I am using. I have been trying so hard not to be selfish in my desire by the repercussions of this tragedy. You see, Russia must react to the death of this baby.....and I don't blame them. All of us trying to adopt have been worried and unsure of what our future holds. Will Russia close it's doors to adoption? Will my agency be banned from operating in Russia? Will I be able to adopt at all? I'm trying not to think of my own desires and think of Chase and the people who adopted him and all the children in orphanages around the world......and not about me.

I learned very early into the adoption process that adoption is about the child, not about the parents.....me. Yes, I desire, but it's not about my desire. It's about finding the best place for the child. What is best for the child, not what is best for me. So, although it has been in God's hands from the beginning, I turned my worries over to him last night. If I am the best place for a baby, we will find each other.

The Russian Ministry of Education was supposed to have a ruling last week, but we have no word yet. Please pray that their decision will be in the best interest of the children.

Peace & Love,
Lavonne